Its time to LIVE...

After many long days of sitting here, depressed and unhappy about myself, I decided its time to start living and quit sitting here dying. I have a very forgiving God in Heaven,  I have a wonderful husband, who loves me unconditionally, the greatest kids and family a person could ask for, I have my health (but not for long if I dont do something), I have a roof over my head & money in the bank. I have everything to be thankful for and all I do is sit here in my misery of how unhappy & fat I am and do NOTHING about it. Very SELFISH!! My husband works his butt off to support us and I sit here and mope about how tired I am... from doing NOTHING. My house is a mess, I have laundry to do for days, an inch thick of dust on my ceiling fans and I sit here and do NOTHING... sickening! Worst yet, I have gained 60 pounds sitting (Facebooking) here doing NOTHING and I have a gym membership that my hubby pays for and I still sit here and do NOTHING. Such a shame, my LilMan, only gets out the house to go to the grocery- bet he's thankful for the 2 days a week that he gets to go to school for an hour and a half. I wonder how I got to this point, I have always had issues over being overweight, but that never stopped me from doing things I enjoyed. Now at 250 pounds, I have no interest in walking out the front door or facing anyone that knows me for fear of what they think of me now. Seriously, most of the time, I stay in my nightshirt (nothing fits anymore), I don't brush my hair and sometimes I forget to even brush my teeth. Life cant be about this, Ive got to start living... before it too late. What a pity-party this is... I have never wrote or said any of this out loud and Im so ashamed of myself... from this day forward I NEED TO LIVE and quit sitting here dying. Live for ME, my kids, my husband and my family. I will take one step at a time, put one foot in front of the other and LIVE!!   
 

   Mama